Men and women together constitute a family. Both contribute to its functioning and development. Thus, in a family, men and women complement and supplement each other. But does this really happen in our families? Even today, in many families, a woman's identity is derived from that of her father, and the father is recognised as the so-called head of the family.
Is it not a common practice noticed by all of us that when a child excels in any field, people ask who his/her father is and the child's identity is traced through his/her father?
But if the mother has established her identity through a job she does or by excelling in some field, then only we say the child's identity is derived from that of the mother.
• When a field or house or any property's ownership is traced, it is again through a male person. Women who do not earn an income own hardly any property.
Sons and daughters are nature's gifts to families. But often they are treated unequally. In many households, sons are regarded as more valuable than daughters. Accordingly, their birth is celebrated with more pomp and their needs are given priority over those of daughter. This makes boys more privileged in comparison to girls. While a son is given better educational opportunities, given better nutrition and access to health facilities, a daughter's access to such facilities is severely restricted. These lay the foundation for gender-based discrimination.
Similarly, the socialisation process varies for children on the basis of their gender. A daughter is taught to display some typical
traits like submissiveness, shyness, and is required to be less demanding, more empathetic and accommodating while a boy is taught to be smart, aggressive, and demanding. Family members insist on girls getting used to doing household chores and taking up sibling care responsibilities from their very childhood. During adulthood, daughters face many restrictions. The world shrinks for them while it expands for boys. The freedom and autonomy of daughters are severely curtailed and sons are allowed to enjoy more freedom and autonomy.
No doubt, today, the scenario is changing. Girls are enrolled in larger numbers in schools and colleges. They excel academically. This has no doubt changed family attitudes towards girls' education. In the urban-based affluent families, equality of opportunity in education, health services are increasingly enjoyed by girls. But in the rural, poverty-stricken families, many girls fail to complete their school education. The higher becomes the level of education; the lower becomes the share of girls in rural areas. Even if they get enrolled in schools and colleges, parents send them to the educational institutions run by the government where investment is almost zero. The girls still bear the burden of doing chores at home, which affects their academic performance while boys are allowed to go to better educational institutions and are totally freed from household responsibilities. Thus, families do not provide equal opportunities to boys and girls. This is a gender discriminatory practice.
Women provide food and comfort to all in the family as wives and mothers. As wives, women seem to sacrifice their own comforts and happiness. They eat after everyone else in the family have eaten and eat whatever little is left. They are the prime care givers in families. They render services like cooking meals, collecting fuel, water, taking care of children, husbands, elderly members and pets. They spend sleepless nights to tend members of the family when they fall ill.
Gender practices of our families have unequal expectations from men and women. Men are not expected to do the household chores even when they have free time. But, women are expected to do all household chores. We take them for granted. We hardly care for their wishes, aspirations and needs. Below are some situations which can make you realise the plight of women in your families and think of some small changes that can bring a difference to their situation.
There are four cakes and five members in a family. Who sacrifices her share? It is always the wife and the mother.
When, during a cele- bration, men enjoy them- selves talking, sitting together, playing cards, where do you find the woman of the family? - She heads for the kitchen to feed everybody.
Imagine the lunch and the dinner time. While every-
Just think what the following actions can do:
Can we not cut the four cakes into five pieces and share them with our sisters, mothers and wives?
During a celebration, if we can share the respon sibilities, our mothers can also enjoy playing, singing and sitting with us..
If we can help our mothers with the cooking, chopping vegetables,
